


You've Got A Touch Like Kryptonite

by bigsweatersandcuddleweather



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, M/M, Multi, OT5, Secrets, Sleepy Cuddles, Vulnerable Zayn, Zayn-centric, secret weapon zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 04:13:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3922459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigsweatersandcuddleweather/pseuds/bigsweatersandcuddleweather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They didn't like when he was like this. But they knew when they were needed and they would be there, just like he had been there. He helped bring them closer everyday because he was their little secret weapon against each other, but a bigger deadlier weapon to himself and they refused to let him self destruct. He was Louis' lamb, Liam's angel, Niall's buttercup and Harry's pumpkin.<br/>He was their kryptonite. </p><p>(aka it was all Rue's fault and I can't be helped for writing nearly 13k of fluff because I love her and all of squad who basically wrote this with me)<br/>p.s sorry it's terrible -_-</p>
            </blockquote>





	You've Got A Touch Like Kryptonite

**Author's Note:**

> For my darling darling amazing Rue. I love you a lot and I hope you like this fic because I know how long you've wanted it and belated Happy Birthday Rue <3  
> P.S this goes out to zensquad. Yall are the only reason this is up
> 
> Title by mindsrelateandcreate

Hands ripped through the shroud of sleep that he was submerged in, yanking too hard until he was on shaky feet that threatened to collapse under his unsteady feet if it hadn’t been for the arms that pressed him tight to a chest, rumbling with words that he couldn’t comprehend yet. A hand caressed his the goosebumps on his arms, another one rubbing under his oversized shirt as he tried to rouse himself from his dreams.

“Love, are you with us?” someone’s voice hummed in his ear and he just groaned, too sleep heavy to do much else.

“Give me that Niall, quick, do it while he’s still half asleep.”

“Why can’t we just wake him up? That way he’ll actually do some talking.”

“Because this way he’ll fall asleep on Liam and Liam can’t get up to kill us. You know he doesn’t like when Zayn is on his own.” he could make out the arguing boys off to one side, until their voices increased as they came closer.

“Pumpkin, lift up your arms for me? I’m gonna bundle you in this sweater, alright?” Louis hummed, reaching over to grab the sweater from Niall and turning back to the petite figure that was leaning heavily over their statuesque boyfriend, sleep warmed pink tinting those heavily arched cheekbones, dipping low before cutting sharp edges with a jaw that seemed to soften in the thralls of sleep, brows lax and hair a fumble knotted mess atop his head in a way so different from the sleep suave looks he preferred during the days, a completely different Zayn that they could only describe as soft and warm.

“Tired.” the one word slurring as he whined, not approving of the way he was jostled from his comfy position against Harry’s chest to have billowing material shoved over his head. He huffed in annoyance, trying to push off the hands that ran through his hair but they only restrained him until he was huffing in frustration. All he wanted to do was sleep in their warm bed hopefully with one of them.

“I know. I know you’re tired buttercup, but we really need you to do something for us, okay? If you want us and want us to live, okay?” Niall hummed, hands replacing Harry’s grip on the narrow waist, thumb caressing the sharp hipbones that jutted from taut skin.

“No. Sleep.”

“Wow, I see he’s got his priorities straight.” Harry huffed with a stifled chuckle.

“Shut up, he’s been staying up late these days. Our poor lil baby hasn’t been getting proper sleep have you?” Niall hummed, turning so that Zayn was facing the door and walking forward, careful to keep Zayn’s feet right on top of his, humming under his breath as they continued their awkward gait to the door to the den, crashing and shouts heard from inside. It was loud enough to rouse Zayn into a semi conscious state, heavy lids fluttering as he tried to focus.

“Wha’s goin on?” yawning into the crook of his sweater clad arm, trying to tune in on one of the figures facing him.

“No time to explain love. Now what we need you to do is walk in there and pretend like you couldn’t sleep and Liam will cuddle with you. Wouldn’t you like that?” Louis rambled, tugging on the sweater so the sleeves pooled at thin delicate wrists and showcased collars littered with bites that none of them could resist laying.

“Mm kay.” with a shrug, not really caring for the reason, just looking for cuddles. He fumbled with the doorknob, finally freeing his fingers enough to grasp the metal knob and yank it open, still sleepily stumbling around.

“Lee?” he called out, voice rasping with the lingers tints of unconsciousness that he could never seem to shake off.

“Zayn? Angel I thought you were tucked in your bed fast asleep.” almost immediately there were arms encasing him in warmth, a hand pressing his head to a firm chest and cupping the back of his neck reassuringly.

“Lonely. Cuddle?” a pout present on lips that Liam could never resist, not when he was standing there, drowning in a sweater that had been passed around so many times it lost it’s true owner, sleeves pooling at wrists and dragging over one shoulder to show more than enough of the blushing skin littered with tattoos.

“Ofcourse. Come on, let’s get you to the couch and we can have a proper cuddle.” not even bothering to rouse Zayn long enough for the few steps, instead lifting him around the waist, the pleasing sounds of his choked giggles taming the red that had filtered into his sights, anger giving way to affection as Zayn was settled sprawled completely over him, head to his chest, his arms clasped over the small of his back and legs intertwined in a way that screamed familiar and safe and love.

“Are you alright love? Not running a fever? Were you cold?” Liam fretted, lips pressing to the fringe that curtained the smooth forehead, gauging his temperature.

“Leeyum. ‘M fine. Lemme sleep please.” his words dragging as he tried to curtail Liam’s motherhenning, not even remembering how he somehow ended up in these strong familiar arms but it beat sleeping on his own.

“Sorry angel, go back to sleep. I’ll make sure one of us stays with you next time you nap.” he cooed, hands running up and down, catching on the edge of the drooping sweater so that he could slip underneath, fingers massaging the warmth emanating from the tan skin that was mapped out with their bites and scratches, flawless skin that they couldn’t help but mark and claim as theirs.

“Why’re you mad Lili?” he mumbled in the crook of his neck, nose nuzzling into the comfort and sighing in contentment that he only felt when one of them were holding him close.

“I’m not. Not anymore atleast. I just-” he interrupted himself with a deep sigh, tearing his eyes away from the lax tan face pressed against his heart to the library that he had absolutely destroyed with a wince. This was Zayn’s favorite place to be, and he was going to be torn a new one from the small lover when he was conscientious enough to realize the damage that Liam had inflicted to his room. “I wish that the lads would know when to stop joking.” he whispered to the room more so than his sleepy lover who simply hummed, lips puckered against his chest and breathing hot air through his shirt.

“They’re idiots. But they're ours.” Zayn mumbled, squirming until was pressed between couch and Liam’s reassuring hold.

“Yeah, but I worry. I worry about all of you. And when they go out and do stupid shit like drink and run away from security especially when I’m not there makes me cringe. Something could happen to them.” he didn’t know why his throat closed up at the thought of that, because they were all safe and sound upstairs, where he knew they were safe and sound and probably cowering in Zayn’s room waiting for the coast to be clear. He knew them, he knew them well enough to know that they thought sending in their sleepy young band member dressed in his drooping sweater would distract him from his rage. And suffice it to say they knew him just as well in return.

“No worrying Liam. They know limits. Their big boys Li Li. Stop worrying. Sleepy now.” Zayn raised his head to attempt to be as coherent as possible, grabbing Liam’s arm and wrapping it around his waist before laying his head on Liam’s bicep as Liam curled the arm closer, bringing Zayn’s precious head close enough to press a kiss on. He knew he got overwhelming. He knew that but he couldn’t help it, not with his band. His babes. The world was cruel and he would try his hardest to protect them, just like he knew they would in return. Especially his little angel. He was too young and unknowing to the cruelty of the world. And Liam needed to make sure that nothing could hurt him. But now he had to figure out a way to get back at the others, and with a glance down to the brunette snuggle deep into the embrace of his arms he knew just what he could do to make the others feel a bit more repentant.

“Liam, come on. Where are you guys?” Harry huffed over the phone, leaning against the wall as Niall and Louis tossed books back onto shelves and brushed up the shards of glass that had gotten in the way of Liam’s anger.

“Hmm, I don’t think you guys deserve to know that just yet Haz.” Liam teased glancing into the passenger seat at his tiny boyfriend who say bundled safely in his seat, licking at the ice cream that dripped down his hand and giggled into the cone at Liam as he heard Harry whine and plead.

“Liam we’’ve cleaned the entire library, and we’ve all kept our phones off and respected your time but Liam please we’re really really sorry.”

“What exactly are you sorry about?” he asked, eyebrow arching in question as his finger trailed over to poke at Zayn’s belly as he squealed with laughter, his laugh seeping into the speaker of Liam’s phone as Harry groaned.

“I’m sorry that we ran off and left you to deal with the bad press, we’re sorry that we didn’t take responsibility for our actions and fucked you over like that.” he murmured as NIall and Louis crowded around the phone.

“Mmhmm, your missing the most important part.”

“What? What else?”

“You tried to use Zayn as a decoy to distract my anger and that was dangerous. And you disturbed his sleep. You know how much he hates that. So we’re going to spend the day together. Say bye to the boys angel.” Liam held out the phone as Zayn leaned forward. “Bye boys. Love you lots!” not even able to hear their response as Liam cut the call, tossing the phone into the back and turning to pull Zayn onto his lap and kiss away the sticky mess that covered his giggling face.

**_____________________**

“Niall. You can’t possibly be serious.” Louis huffed, arms over his chest as he stood his ground in front of the door.

“Oh yes I can Tommo. Now move aside you pixie. I needs me a drink and a really fucking big one at that.” Niall hissed, squaring off even though it was a good couple of inches difference between the two of them.

“Not if I get Paul up here. It’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard Niall, you’ll get mauled. There’s fans going down two fucking blocks.” Louis hissed, hands grasping the doorknob as Niall looked mutinous, but his ears seemed to perk to listen to the faint cheers outside his window, from fans 63 floors below.

“So what. I’ll find a back entrance. Fuck Louis, I need to get out of here. Away from all the bleeding madness. Now let me through.” he hissed, fingers tugging at the blonde locks as he fought against his urges to ram his fist into Louis’ throat. He wasn’t a violent person, but one person could only take so much stifling and constant shufflings from one hotel room to another before they drove themselves insane with the need to run, to leave and find somewhere quiet where the echoes of screams didn’t trail their every step and red teary faces weren’t the only things in sight.

“Alright. Alright. Take a few minutes and relax. Go take a shower. By the time you get out and changed we can all go. It’ll be a lads night.” Louis tried a different tactic, soothing and indifferent as he ran a hand through his own hair and took a cursory sniff, pretending that it smelled rank in the room. Which it usually did when it came to Niall but this was a new hotel room, he hadn’t even had a chance to put his bags down before he was being shoved out of the bus. And it through him off, to see this level of anger and frustration in Niall when usually he was the one loud mouth trying to shove everyone away to make more room for himself by farting. Now he looked almost hostile, ready to attack Harry in his anxiety to get away.

Niall scoffed, raising his arm and taking a whiff, cringing when he caught the remnants of sweat clinging from the concert that night.

“Alright, but coming or not I’m getting the fuck outta here. And don’t bring Zayn. We’re all getting fucked up and I don’t want to leave him wandering around a club.” his voice was gruff as he demanded, slamming the bathroom door behind himself. He didn’t mean to make it sound as rude and horrible as it did but he planned on acting completely out of sort, to be someone new and unknown and drink until the ache in his heart stopped and until he couldn’t feel any type of weight, including his own. And he couldn’t be held responsible for himself and he didn’t want his little bandmate to get stuck in the crossfire of his antics.

Louis slumped against the door, gripping onto the ends of his limp locks. Fuck. They couldn’t handle another scandal at the moment. WIth Liam dealing with the backlash of some of his tweets and him and Harry trying to handle the Larry accusations now that Eleanor was out of the picture and poor Zayn being accused of cheating things were getting out of hand. They didn’t need Niall to be dragged down as well.

“Fuck, I need Zayn.” he mumbled, reaching for his phone and texting his boyfriend to come over asap. This was the only thing that could possibly help them right now.

Zayn was there less than thirty seconds later, chomping on the end of a corndog, eyes wide and blinking as he stared at Louis, lips wrapped around the suggestive food.

“Fuck Zayn, now’s not the time to be looking at me like that. Niall maybe.” he dragged the petite boy into the middle of the room, cocking his head to make sure that they sound of running water was still going before tossing open Niall’s luggage, rifling through his clothes.

“What am I doing in here Lou? I don’t want to be near Niall. He hurt my feelings.” Zayn crawled on top of the bed, legs crossed as he pouted, corndog laying abandoned by his side. Louis glanced out of the corner of his eye to see Zayn grab onto one of the crumpled bits of fabric and start knotting it in his delicate hands, watching Louis in return for an answer.

“Zayn, Niall is about to do something very very stupid that will get him in a lot of trouble and possibly in the papers tomorrow. And not in a good way. So we’re going to be super sneaky and try to get him to stay here. Alright? Or are you too mad to help your Niall?” remembering to add on the your before Niall because he knew just how to manipulate people the right way and knowing that Zayn was really protective of people he loved.

“Lou what is he doing? Is he going to hurt himself? Where he is?” head whipping back and forth as if the blonde head would be peering out of the closet.

“He’s in the shower so we have to be really really quick. Alright baby? It’ll be just like that time you helped save us from mad Liam. Except you’ll be helping Niall from hurting himself. Now, take off your sweater and put on that tank top pumpkin. And take off your pants as well.” Louis closed the lid of trunk and tossed it off the bed, pulling back the covers and nearly upending Zayn who struggled to emerge from the folds of his sweater. Zayn huffed, pushing his flopping hair off his face and wriggling out of his tight denim, feeling oddly free and exposed in just those boxers, but that was nothing until he tugged on the tanktop, the neck falling low, the straps barely concealing his nipples and putting all his tattoos on display. And then Louis was moving him, forcing him onto his knees and then pushing them further apart, ignoring his protests as he pulled one of Niall’s snapbacks over his mussed hair and pulling the brim to face the back. He grabbed the end of the tank top, trying to pull it lower over his crotch as the blush burned against his cheeks.

“Louis! Wh-why am I sitting like this? I thought I was just gonna wear his clothes and try to get him to take a nap with me.” Zayn whimpered, whining when his nipples were flashing with every slight shift.

“Because Niall isn’t going to sleep. He needs to burn some heat off. Or cool down. And that’s what you’re here to do.”

“But why am I half naked? Couldn’t I stay in my jumper? I’m cold now.” rubbing at his nose to wipe away moisture and try to compose himself. He felt so...so slutty the way he was sitting. And that should’ve scared him but if anything it made him even more excited.

“It’s called staging pumpkin. We’re going to seduce him. Or you are atleast. Now look at me.” Louis demanded, towering in front of the bed, as Zayn’s eyes instinctively peered from under a thicket of lashes, the hand still yanking the front of the tank between his legs and nearly everything shyly on display. It was perfect but Louis knew something that would make it even better.

“Come here baby, let me paint those lips with my tongue.” he murmured, kneeling in front of Zayn, gently grasping both sides of Zayn’s precious face, tilting his head just the right way so that he could swoop forward, lips pressed fierce and urgently on the soft one, nibbling and swallowing all the sounds that fell from them, letting one hand fall to Zayn’s narrow waist as he squirmed and then up to his hair to tug as he tongue swooped in and out of the warm cavern of Zayn’s mouth. It was nearly impossible to stop but the end of the shower forced him away, lingering long enough to wipe excess spittle from his chin and press the hat over sex mussed hair, wanting so bad to swoop back in, to taste those lips once again but he held back. WIth a soft smile he trailed his fingers across the arch of his cheek and down the sharp cut of his jaw, smiling reassuringly as he did.

“Just sit there and look cute darling. He’ll never leave your side.” he could hear shuffling in the bathroom now, tearing his eyes away to get a quick photo before dashing out of the room, letting the door close with a resounding click. He would see them in the morning.

Niall strode from the bathroom with a towel sagging around hips that he couldn’t be bothered to fix it as he braced himself to face his older boyfriend, knowing that he was going to get an earful or meet resistance as he brought reinforcements. But he was surprised to see a certain brunette perched on his bed, the same small lad he had snapped at earlier and walked away from with a guilt weighing on his shoulders at the quivering bottom lip that he had caused. But there was no quivering bottom lip now, now it was swollen and a tempting sheen of red that he caught himself staring at before he noticed the compromising position he was in, knees wide and boxers barely noticeable as he tugged on the white tank top, one that he could always identify in an instance as his barely covering any type of the tan skin that was coated with goosebumps and he wanted to taste, to touch and lick and caress every bit of ink that was calling his name, seducing him as the limbs fidgeted and moved. And fuck, he noticed the snapback perched on ruined hair, his, his zayn on his bed, wearing his snapback and his tanktop. All his. And he wanted nothing more than to reclaim it all.

“N-niall?” the lips were moving and he had to physically pinch himself to force eyes to meet the hazel irises that peeked through the curtain of eyelashes, wide and nervous, unsure and a slight glaze of something else he couldn’t stop himself from staring at.

“What’re you doing here buttercup? Why’re you wearing my clothes? Don’t you know how much you tempt me?” he was stalking closer, shoulders hunched, not even noticing his towel slip further or the nervous eyes that trailed to his expose hips but he did notice the shudder that wracked his body.

“I-I-um? I just w-wanted to see if y-you were okay.” he stuttered, hands shaking as Niall crawled onto the bed, forcing him back until he was on his back and the blonde was towering over him, arms bracketing his head and nose trailing up the side of his neck as he worked to suppress the whines and shivers.

“Okay? Are you sure that’s the only reason you’re in here? Dressed like a little slut in my tanktop? Showing off those cute little nips?” pale fingers trailed down the length of his neck, circling the pert nipples, massaging and ticking until his nails dug in, shooting a burst of the most painful pleasure Zayn could remember as his back arched off the bed and his breath caught in his throat, hips lips captured roughly by chapped pink ones that nipped and pushed in a punishing thrill of lust and a growl emerging from the back of Niall’s throat.

“I’ll thank whoever left you trussed on my bed like a slutty present later. Right now I want you out of those clothes and wanna see that pretty little cock.” Niall growled as Zayn drowned in pleasure, making sure to curse Louis because he would surely feel the effect of Niall’s frustrations in the morning. The fucking bastard.

**____________________**

“Damn it Louis, if you don’t taking the fucking cough medicine you won't get out of the fucking bed!” Zayn’s ear pressed against the door, practically folding flat against the wooden barrier as he tried to hear something over sick coughing wheezes.

“He’s fine, but he’s been asking for you. You know how he gets when one of us is missing for more than two days. He’s standing right outside the door even though I told him to go and put his books away, am I right buttercup?” Niall’s tone getting progressively louder until he shouted the last word, grinning to himself as he heard a thunk and a muffled squeak before feet hurrying away.

“Come on Ni, why did you do that?” Louis rasped, quickly turning his head to the crook of his arm as an attack of tickled coughs ripped through his throat, making Niall wince as he reached a hand over to stroke his sweat soaked back, discreetly pulling the covers back over quivering shoulders. If he wouldn’t take the damn medicine he would sure as hell suffocate the petite lad in the hopes he would sweat the fever.

“No, too hot.” Louis whined, twisting and turning until he was halfway hanging off the bed and weakly pushing at the blonde’s hands.

“You’re fucking hopeless Lou. Just take the damn medicine so that you can get better, it’s been four days already.” Niall huffed, moving so that he could properly sit on the bed.

“Nooo. It’s gross.”

“We got you the children’s type. It’s like fucking grape flavor, how does it still taste bad?” Niall whined, pinching the bridge of his nose to ward off a headache that was beginning to creep up again. With the lack of sleep they had all been suffering since Louis had barricaded himself to his own room when he started coughing in the hopes that he wouldn’t infect any of the other lads, thoughts automatically going to their baby lamb who would have their illness twice as bad as them.

“It’s fucking disgusting. Go and find me one that doesn’t have any fucking taste to it. Or some pills. Or an injection. I don’t fucking care. Or give me something so that I sleep until I’m better. I like that idea better.” Louis remarked snarkily, yanking the covers over his head and curling up as the sweats gave was to shivers against his chilled back.

“And for god’s sakes Niall close the goddamn window.” Louis’s rants could be heard even as Niall not so gently slammed the door shut and stomped down to the kitchen where he promptly threw himself into Liam’s arms.

“Not getting any better is he?”

No, and he’s still sick.” with a chuckle as he pulled himself to sit up right and turn to Harry who was attempting to make another type of soup, one that Louis wouldn’t spit up into the toilet or offend him for.

“Well Louis on a good day is a menace. Now with a headache and sweating and sticky and smelly and it’s possibly the worst mix. And throw in minimal contact with Zayn and we’re all fucked over.” Harry mused, adding a whole array of vegetables to the concoction.

“But if we just let Zayn in there, maybe-”

“No Niall.” Harry said firmly, just as Liam was opening his mouth to do the same.

“But why? Just long enough for one short cuddle, with Louis wearing one of those surgical masks, a bit of petting and seducing his way into Louis possibly drinking the whole bottle of syrup and then we’ll get him out of there and give him a shitload of antibiotics. Boom, there you go we’re all good.” Niall argued, arms flailing around like he had found the answer to all of their answers. And he had, just not a good one. But it seemed like they were out of ideas, beside catering to each and every one of Louis’s dramatic demands.

“No Niall, his immune system is complete shit and unless you want a clingy crying and sad Zayn on your hands then I suggest you not bring it up while he’s here because it’s already hard enough to keep him out of there.” Harry reprimanded, rapping Niall over his knuckl;es with his wooden spoon, making the blonde whine and reach out to tug on the curls escaping from Harry’s haphazard bun.

“Calm down children. Niall, you and me are gonna go and talk to the pharmacist again, just to see if there’s anything else we can try. Maybe an injection that makes him sleep until he’s well again.” Liam grumbled under his breath as he got up and headed toward the garage, Niall in tow pulling on his sunglasses despite the fact that it was freezing.

“And I’ll go and check on Zayn before I bring Lou some soup. Hopefully he won't try to throw this one in my face like the last one.” Harry mumbled to himself as he set the burner so that the soup would simmer and he ambled up the steps heading toward Louis’s room first. But the coast was clear of the dark haired baby so he set off toward the library next, finding him curled up on the nearly hidden nook built into the wall above the shelves, his personal little corner. At first they weren’t entirely comfortable with him being all the way up there because he had a tendency of falling asleep when he was very deep in sleep and he always fell asleep with  book in his hand. But then he pouted when they tried to fill in the gap, bog watering eyes and quivering bottom lip as his lips scrunched and he made those sounds that made them all scramble to stop. Liam went out and bought one of those guards that stopped babies from going up and down stairs and fastened it there himself, while Louis went out and had custom mattress and tons of throw pillows and blankets piled up in there and Harry had outdone them all, having custom rolling staircase built, one that zayn could use to get to the books in high places and one they could use to get Zayn when he did fall asleep.

“Zayn darling? You alright up there?” he asked softly, pulling the staircase over and clambering up to rest his head on the edge as Zayn looked up from the book he had been skimming, mind most likely down the hall with Louis. Two wide hazel tinted eyes peered up at him from behind a pillow pressed over his head before darting back away.

“Aw come on pumpkin. You know why you can’t go in here. Unless you want another trip to the A&E for oxygen.” Harry soothed, reaching over to submerge his hand in the thicket of Zayn’s onyx luxurious mane.

“ ‘s not that bad. I’ll take lots of medicine and you guys will give me lots of cuddles and soup and I really want to see him Haz, please?” he pleaded, lip automatically jutting out even though he knew Harry couldn’t see him.

“I’m afraid that’s a no pumpkin. We really don’t need another scare after last time. But you know you can talk to him through the door, or on skype? We just really don’t want it to happen again darling. Alright? Do you want to come with me into the kitchen? I’m almost done with Louis’s soup and I’m making some of those chicken nuggets you like.” kissing the exposed areas of neck and shoulder that jutted from one of their sweaters. Most likely Louis’.

“No, I’m tired.” ofcourse Harry could tell he wasn't, but the tone in his voice told of his annoyance and frustration and Harry would never begrudge him the chance to express his anger or even try to suppress him.

“Alright darling. Come find me when you’re not tired anymore. We can have a nice cuddle.” he chuckled, patting his covered him before departing back down the stairs and back downstairs, reassured that maybe for a few minutes he would get some peace.

The second that Zayn’s perked sense of hearing sensed Harry’s retreating footsteps receding into the kitchen he was up and tiptoeing down the steps and across the long hall, cautious of the creaking spots that he had learned to avoid on numerous unsanctioned adventures at 3am with Louis. Louis who needed him right at that moment.

The door creaked softly as he tried to step into the room, dodging away as a pillow came whirling in his direction.

“Get the fuck out! I’m not taking the stupid fucking medicine so just leave me here to die.” Louis groaned from under crumpled masses of too many blankets that he had the habit of kicking off.

“Don’t make me leave Lou Lou. Miss you too much.” he mumbled softly as he tiptoed closer on socked feet until he was able to reach out and finally touch Louis, reassured immensely in the small gesture.

“Zayn? What’re you doing here? You can’t be in the room pumpkin.” Louis protested meekly as he raised up onto his elbows, rolling away on the bed so that Zayn was further away.

“You weren’t getting any better and I didn’t like not knowing how you were and not seeing you. Don’t you want to cuddle Lou?” he tentatively edged closer Louis’ side until he could lay beside him, and reach out of his hand. He wanted to be stronger. To be stronger than he knew he was but the way those eyes were pouting at him along with that trembling bottom lip and his stance that screamed please let me hold you he caved, holding out his arms for warm cuddles from tan skin and dark hair that tickled his nose and tiny giggles that tickled his collarbones.

“You’re so hot Lou, that’s not good.” he heard Zayn murmur against his throat as his delicate hands pressed against his bare chest, softly roaming the expanse of his skin. And he wanted to moan because it felt so fucking good, to finally have someone touch him in such a comforting way. Ofcourse the other lads did it as well but with Zayn it was always different. It was warring emotions to dote on him and let him express some of the concern the other boys tried to brush off. Maybe he wanted Zayn to take care of him as well.

“I know lamb. Which is why it isn’t good for you to be here with me. I don’t want you to get sick because of silly Lou.” he mumbled, turning on his pillow so that he and Zayn were sharing the same pillow, his hands still plastered on his chest and Zayn’s leg instinctively finding their way between louis’ calves.

“Why don’t you take the medicine Louis? It’s not that bad. And when you get better we can go to the movies or do more stupid things when the others aren’t watching. I miss having my partner in crime around. The others are too careful and gentle.”

“What’re you trying to say lamb? Am I too rough with you?” taking on an air of hurt he laid a hand over Zayn’s that still pressed to his chest.

“No! No it’s just that you muck around and tease me, like not like a child. Well you still treat me like a child sometimes but you’re not afraid of hurting me. I mean you are because you’re still gentle but you try.” he stuttered and clenched his hands into fists in Louis’ grip as he tried to explain something they all already knew. Each of them had their own way of acting and reacting around their baby. Niall was mainly teasing and trying to make him laugh and choke on his own spit in embarrassment, Liam tended to coddle and almost suffocate with care but in the sweetest puppy way, Harry was engaging, always questioning concerns and hands that pressed to his forehead in the mornings he was lethargic and quiet. Louis was a mixture of all of that, he was teasing and embarrassing, with bits of rough play fighting and slapboxing, with the concern that Harry exhibited with a bit more subtlety and Liam’s coddling but where Liam’s instincts tried to force Zayn to bed or into cuddles Louis usually coaxed him outside into mischief until his shoulders relaxed  and he was okay again.

“I know. I know baby.” he cut himself off to turn his head, mouth pressed to the crook of his arm as he coughed what felt like all his intestines, wiping away the music and then reaching for a wipe to disinfect before turning to Zayn’s whose eyes were wide and arms instinctively going around Louis’s shoulders.

“Please take the medicine Louis. Please please get better. Do it for me please Lou Lou. I don’t like seeing you like this.” Zayn whined pitifully as he clung to the sweat slick skin under him as if Louis would disappear out from under him.

“Zayn, I don’t- I don’t like that stuff. I like to let the fever work it’s way out. It just...I don’t like that medicated sleeping shit, it makes me feel all fuzzy and out of it.” he mumbled against the top of Zayn’s head. It had been a thing with him since he was a child, never taking any type of cough medicine that left him rendered vulnerable and drugged. He didn’t like feeling vulnerable like that.

“Please Louis. It will only make you sleep for a little while and I’ll be right here. I’ll make sure that you’re alright. Trust me Louis.” Zayn whined, pressing kisses on the burning forehead. rocking slightly and Louis relaxed, letting Zayn lavish him in affection. But he wasn’t watching the time and startled awake by the door giving a loud thud as it was opened.

“Zayn really? We told you no.” harry groaned, voice breaking the fragile sense of peace that permeated from Zayn’s presence.

“But Harry-”

“No, you get your scrawney arse downstairs and eat your lunch along with some vitamins in the fridge, now go. You little brat.” yanking Zayn’ out of Louis’ clenched grip and moving him along with a pat on the arse. Louis’ head turned in time to see a pout on the red bitten lips as he walked out with a disgruntled set to his brows.

“And you, how could you let him stay here? We get that you want to brood and bask in sickness but like...call me if he tries to come in again. I know that probably seems really harsh Lou but-”

“Harry, stop rambling and get me the damn cough medicine.” Louis snapped, tossing the covers back over his shoulders and burrowing into a cocoon, pillow pressed under his nose and it may have been a tad dramatic, seeing as it had only been three days max that he hadn’t seen zayn but he’s not used to being that long without seeing his cherubic little lamb grinning at him over breakfast or offering a kiss, or grumbling and cuddling closer because they didn’t want to get up.

“What? Wait, seriously? Was that all it fucking took?” Harry groaned, setting down the tray of soup in exchange for grabbing a stray pillow and pretending to muffle Louis’s head.

“No. I feel like shit and I hate all you incompetent asshats for hovering so get away from me. And I want Zayn to give it to me. I don’t give a fuck if you have to make him wear a hazmat suit, it has to be Zayn.” Louis huffed, and he may have been weak but he finally gave in to his instincts to have that little body cuddled close and he  wouldn’t rest until he got.

“Lou, he’s gonna get si-”

“He’ll be fine. You guys mollycoddle him too much.” wish a wave of his hand and Harry knew he was proverbially dismissed, pursing his lips because he knew that Louis couldn’t help his borderline dickish attitude. But he did as he was told, going downstairs to find Zayn fiddling with his chicken tenders, dragging it through the ketchup and mustard to create some type of picture but his heart wasn’t into it, even Harry could tell, shoulders drooped, chin resting on his free hand and lip quivering as he immersed himself in his work and his racing mind. Harry could never comprehend the complexity of the younger boys mind and it was times like this when he was deeply immersed in it that he actually stopped and wondered.

“Zayn, pumpkin.” there was no reply and he knew he was due for the cold shoulder and a fair bit of pouting, and maybe he did deserve it. Zayn was soft voice and quiet noises and he wasn’t used to being scolded without someone acting as a buffer.

“Pumpkin, are you really going to give me the cold shoulder?” he cooed, crouching so that he was beside the petite lad and could lay a hand on his shoulder but Zayn steadfastly refused to meet his eyes, turning completely away from him.

“Alright,  I guess I’ll have to get someone else to go up there and help Louis eat his soup.” he said with a mock heaving sigh, grinning internally at how fast Zayn’s head whipped around.

“Really? Thank you Hazz!” he squealed, launching himself into the older lad’s lap, sending them both toppling to the floor, Harry’s hand instinctively curling around the small of the other lad’s waist and twisting so that his back took the grunt of the fall.

“Oof Zayn. How about you nurse Lou back to health first before maiming me, eh love?” chucking at the feel of Zayn’s blush against his collar and his nuzzling nose that was supposed to be an apology.

“Alright, I know how bad you’re raring to get up there. But I want you to take these cough drops and vitamins and hand sanitizer and I swear Zayn if I hear the tiniest of sneezes your ass is getting locked down on your bed. Understood?” seeing the messy head of head nod rapidly before he was running off, the door slamming shut before the words were even fully out of his lips. He sighed indulgently and shook his head, not even going to check.

And when Niall and Liam came home to find that Harry had done the one thing they all attempted to prevent they just shook their heads, because they couldn’t really blame him. They were all weak to those eyes and that pout that melted their hearts. And their wills.

Creeping up a few hours later they found their two loves curled up, Louis’ head pressed on top of Zayn’s, arms wrapped around waist and Zay’s limbs resembling that of a octopus the way he clung to his lover. Liam crept forward, the back of his hand pressing against the tan forehead, brushing aside mousey brown locks.

“His fevers broken.” LIam mumbled, finding it aggravatingly hilarious.

“Told you. I can help.” their heads turned to the dark hair who nestled against the firm chest, grinning sleepily but in accomplishment. NIall simply chuckled, reaching over to tousle the soft hair that tickled Louis’ nose.

“Yeah yeah buttercup. We’ll see how happy you are tomorrow.” leaning over to press a kiss over those fluttering eyelids. But they knew that even if all their coddling and cooing ended up in him being sick then so be it. They would always take care of him.

**____________________**

They were a group second and friends first, that always implied. It wasn't odd for them to always be near each other, one person hanging over the others shoulder as they fought and playfully shoved each other. There was always concern that they covered with sarcastic remarks and brief gentle touches. But sometimes, sometimes it wasn't enough and they weren't enough and there was a need for solidarity.

“Harry, that’s not safe. When was the last time that you slept properly?” Liam questioned, taking the concerned role, always the caretaker even with all of Louis’ corruption.

“M fine Liam, so what if I miss a few hours of sleep?” Harry retorted, adjusting the open neck of his shirt, that trailed down his fit exposed chest toward the protruding antennas of his butterfly. He could sense Liam’s pacing over his shoulder and rolled his eyes, turning away from the mirror to look at him. He didn't know why Liam was so concerned, it was only a few nights he wasn't fast asleep with the rest of them. Sometimes it was easier to avoid the thoughts that plagued him rather than admit he physically couldn't, rather than letting them think he was being 

“I’m still standing, still here. I haven’t been committed to a hospital yet. So what if I don’t sleep for a bit? I don’t have work right now and let me enjoy it.” he shrugged into a jacket, hands running through his hair as he glanced at the text from Nick.

“Harry, maybe you should slow it down a bit. You’ve been partying nearly every night. Zayn was hoping that you would cuddle with him tonight.” slipping in the digging hint of their baby but Harry’s eyes hid any sign of guilt at practically abandoning them at all times of the night, his little area of the bed as abandoned in the morning as it was the night they had all gone to bed.

“I’ll see him tomorrow. Don’t wait up.” he called over his shoulder as he clomped down the stairs.

“Haz?” the voice making him pause, cursing under his breath as he turned to the figure standing in the doorway to the living room, sweats pooling around socked feet and a random cropped shirt around his shoulders, something Niall and Louis had done as a prank and he had just shrugged and kept on wearing, causing the rest of them lustful despair at the sight of slight abs and that narrow torso they always wanted to touch. His hair was flat against his forehead, or rather pulled back by one of Harry’s own bandanas and looking so hopeful.

“I’ll see you when you wake up pumpkin.” he strode forward, hand cupping the back of his tan head as he pressed a perfunctory kiss to the creased forehead.

“But..you promised that we would chill tonight.” rubbing an arm over his exposed torso as the touch that Harry gave him like a starved child. He wasn’t starved for affection, but he had gotten so used to all of them, overwhelming him all at once or atleast once a day and for Harry to distance himself was worse than when Louis was sick because that was to protect himself, this was Harry drifting away from him, from them.

“Later babes.” ruffling his hair as he blew a kiss to Niall and Louis who waved a hand as their eyes stayed riveted to the t.v. Zayn watched him walk out the door, and stayed at the window watching him walk down the drive and greet random people before hopping in their car. He didn’t move as watched the car back out of the driveway, Harry glancing up at him and then quickly turning to Nick, pretending like he wasn’t even there.

“Hey, don’t frown angel. It doesn’t suit your pretty face.” Liam whispered, wrapping an arm around the narrow torso and dragging him back into his chest where he slumped against the comforting hold, even though he craved a different pair of arms.

“Why doesn’t he ever want to stay with us anymore?” he asked, stroking hands over Liam’s arm, nails scratching at the hairs that brushed the surface.

“I don’t know darling. He’s just going through some stuff. Don’t worry about it. He’ll come to us when he’s ready.” Liam reassured although he was the farthest thing from sure. But he wasn’t about to encroached on Harry’s space. They all knew just how far to push until Harry snapped and did something he would undoubtedly regret.

“But, he promised we would spend the night together. He’s...he’s not mad at me, right?” asking tentatively, head tilted to his socked toes.

“Zayn, you know that’s not true. Harry loves you just as we do, just as much as all of us love each other. Now come back to the den and we can watch some t.v and you can curl up in the middle of those two other idiots.” Liam’s nose nuzzling along the faint hints of scruff that Zayn would shave away soon enough.

“Fine. But no Avengers.” he grumbled, swatting away Liam’s wandering hands but replacing it with an apologetic kiss as he was directed into the living room, his head still churning with doubt and Liam’s with plans to fix what they couldn’t help worrying about. And meeting Louis' eyes they both glanced down to the hunched figure curled u between the both of them, knowing what they could do before smiling like the idiots they were

 

“It was 3 a.m when Liam heard the creeping floorboards, and he knew which person was creeping around the room, most likely getting ready to sneak away to god knows where. Rolling over surreptitiously he maneuvered himself so that his arms were pressed against Zayn’s back, before mentally apologizing and shoving Zayn off of the bed, until he thudded against the floor with a fantastic thud.

“Zayn? Pumpkin? Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?” Harry’s voice was hushed and Liam could see through the slits of his eyelids that Harry was crouched over Zayn’s groaning figure.

“Harry? My head hurts.” Zayn whimpered, reaching out to curl his arms around Harry’s neck.

“I know darling. You fell pretty hard. Let’s go downstairs and get some ice on that head. I think I can feel a bump there.” Harry tsked, hefting his boyfriend and striding out of the room, humming under his breath when Zayn groaned at the jostling, still half asleep. Liam stalled a second, until he couldn’t hear the sound of their movement before following, tiptoeing down the stairs to hover in the kitchen.

“How did you fall pumpkin? I left you nice and tucked in next to Liam.” Harry whispered, pressing the ice pack against the side of Zayn’s tender head, frowning as he winced.

“I don’t know. Just fell. Why did you leave the bed?” Zayn whined, flinching away from the too bright lights, attempting to burrow into the heat of Harry’s chest but the taller lad held still, curling his larger than life palm against the back of Zayn’s slender soft neck.

“Because I needed to do something darling. Is there anywhere else you’re hurt? That was a pretty hard fall pumpkin.” hands skimming over Zayn’s delicate face,thumbing over his unplucked brows and caressing the lines of his jaw.

“No. Go away.” pouting as he tried to hop off the counter but the arms on either side of his waist blocked any escape attempt.

“That’s rude pumpkin, why do you want me to go away so badly?” Harry murmured, crouching slightly so that he could peer up into Zayn’s avoiding gaze, holding his face in place with a hand cupping his face.

“Isn’t that what you were doing? Leaving? Like you always do?” Zayn’s voice was too sharp to really be in the throes of sleep and Harry sighed, wishing that he could have Zayn half conscious so that he could slip out, avoid this and everything else that was most likely building.

“Yes, that’s what I was doing. You have to right to judge me Zayn Malik, so be careful with that attitude.” he warned, taking on a tone that was unfamiliar to any of them, harsh and defensive, when it was usually filled with warmth and teasingly blatant affection.

“Why’re you being so mean Harry? What’s wrong?” Zayn could see the furrow to Harry’s brow, and the way his fingers constantly combed through the tangled tresses laying over his shoulders.

“Nothing. I’m fine. Now I think it’s time for you to go to sleep. My ride is waiting out front.” Harry didn’t do much else beside remove the ice pack and check the bump for any further swelling and when he found none he pressed a kill onto Zayn’s head and started walking toward the front door.

“Harry! Please, dont be mad at me. I’m sorry for whatever I said. Please please don’t be mad at me. What did I do wrong?” Zayn pleaded, attempting to hop off the counter but with only one free hand and a spinning head he ended up falling straight onto bony knees, causing Harry’s head to spin at the resounding thud.

“Zayn! What the heck are you trying to kill yourself on purpose?” Harry growled, quickly jogging back toward Zayn, reaching down to pick him up, seeing a bruise on his bony knee but he simply headed back up the stairs, barely avoiding Liam who feigned dazed confusion, before promptly dropping him onto the bed, not allowing himself for the same trick again. He knew what they were doing, but he was fine. He didn’t need to be coddled or pampered, he wasn’t that same seventeen year old, so dependent on everyone else for help. He didn’t even pause as he stormed straight out of the house and jumping right into Grimmy’s car, phone tossed out the window so that it cracked and splintered on the concrete. For now, he was a free man.

“Shit, again Zayn?” Harry hissed into the darkness of the room where Zayn sat cross legged on the couch, a cup of what he assumed to be coffee cooling in his clenched in his grip as he tiptoe down the steps and toward the door, shoes held in his hands and a jacket clenched in his fist. He simply shrugged, watching Harry as tiptoed across the room. It was the third time that week he had come down to find his shorty waiting there.

“This isn’t good for you pumpkin. You need to get some sleep or you’ll be stunted in growth my little shorty.” he attempted to tease, reaching for Zayn who smiled and then reached for Harry’s hand, tugging him closer.

“No no no. I know what you’re trying to do. And it’s not going to work darling. I’ll see you when I get back.” he managed to wrest his wrist from Zayn’s tight grip, not missing the way he flinched and curled back around his coffee cup instead.

“Fine. I’ll be waiting up for you.” he shrugged, taking a sip of the cup as Harry resisted an annoyed huff. He better not be.

“You better not be Zayn Javaad Malik. We have a long day and I can handle it. You, on the other hand turn into a monster when you’ve gotten less than six hours of sleep. Now get your scrawny arse up to bed.” reaching over to snatch the cup from his hands and going towards the kitchen to dump it into the sink, along with the full pot he had brewing, glancing at the doorway as Zayn followed a second later.

“Don’t be a dick Harry. I’m not a child. And if you won’t stay here where I know that you’re safe and with us, then I’ll wait till you are. I don’t like when you’re not there with me Hazza.” he started off strong but his voice drifted into a soft plea as he stared up at his boyfriend with pleading eyes, wide and watering because no sleep turns him into a mess.

“You’re not a baby but neither am I. I can take care of myself. If I don’t sleep a little while, I’ll survive. I’ not going to break and it’s not your job to look out for me. That’s my job for you.” he stated, raising his eyebrows as hands ran through his hair.

“A job? Am I just a job to you? Are you my babysitter because I need to be looked after? Damn it Haz, this is a relationship. Give and take, back and forth. We take care of each other.” he whined, knowing that anger would only push Harry further away. He knew that he needed to up the ante on his cute. That’s how he could get him.

Attempting to stifle a bubbling yawn he took his time, rubbing a clenched fist over fluttering eyes, whining in the back of his throat as he pretended to sway on the spot.

“Christ Zayn, you haven’t slept properly in days. You need to sleep.” Harry tried being firm, gripping the tops of Zayn’s arms to steady him, but letting go a second later to grab him around the waist and hoisting him onto the counter. Zayn took advantage of the situation, laying his head on the broad warm shoulder and snuffling against Harry’s neck, until the hand on his waist wrapped around the back of his neck instead, combing through the baby hairs rising from his neck.

“You’re a menace pumpkin. An absolute menace you little brat.” Harry groaned under his breath as Zayn’s breathing evened out, his eyelashes fluttering as he knew Harry’s eyes would be glancing at him slightly.

“Come on. Let’s get you onto the couch at least. I know you’ll be up in like ten minutes looking for me. But I wont be here.” but he was hesitant as he felt Zayn’s hand clench onto the lapels of his gaping shirt, loathing to get Zayn’s grip off of him but he needed out.

“I’m sorry pumpkin. Please sleep for me.” a kiss pressed along his crinkled forehead before the looming presence was gone and Zayn sat up, scowling to himself as he stalked to the kitchen to put on a new pot. Harry wouldn’t be home for hours and he would still be waiting.

It continued on, a battle that Harry thought that Zayn couldn’t possibly keep it up, he valued his sleep more than affection from the others sometimes so he simply ignored him as he was leaving in the dead of night and only tsking as he would come back to find him in front of the t.v, head nodding forward with hooded eyes as the others were roaming around the kitchen, glancing at him then looking away, obviously disapproving of his behaviour but he just shrugged. Ignoring the pangs everytime he looked at Zayn’s bags and drooping head he simply went about his day, whistling under his breath, even managing to get a nap in for two hours, coming out feeling infintely more fatigued from the restless sleep then the whole night out, only for his frown to deepen because Zayn was propped against Niall who was whispering into his ear, adamantly shaking his head. He knew that he was the reason for Zayn’s sleep strike, that he was the reason that Zayn was denying himself even a few winks and he knew that he would be charged with taking care of the damage he was causing.

“Can he actually make it through today?” he murmured to Liam who was looking at Zayn with a mixture of guilt and annoyance, although it was softened by blatant affection because while they all loved sleepy cuddle zayn with eyelids half mast and arms that demanded cuddles but this wasn’t the same. This was deprivation, his body shaking with the need to drop off that he was purposely staving off. And it annoyed Harry to no end, because atleast he could sleep, while Harry on the other hand saw this never ending feeling of anxiety that crippled him and clutched him in the throes of consciousness all hours of the night.

“I don’t know. Can you?” the question was worded innocently, but the tone had Harry whipping toward his boyfriend with a glower, ready to bite his head off

“Not now Liam Payne.”

“Then when? When we have to hospitalize one of our boyfriends for exhaustion? Harry-” reaching out for the younger man’s hand to press a kiss on his clenched fist.

“We don’t know what’s wrong unless you tell us.” free hand going to pet his hair but Harry stepped out of his grasp before he could reach.

“I’m fine. I’m fine Liam. You should be more focused on Zayn.” striding abruptly out of the room and away from the confrontation. Liam sighed, glancing at Louis who pressed his lips tight together. They knew Harry, they knew that he would continue to bottle everything until he self destructed and it was a mess, throwing all of them of their balance and invariably shaking the foundations of their relationship and they didn’t want that. They just wanted Harry happy and safe and to fucking sleep. But they knew if Harry Styles didn’t want to do something, there was no way he could be forced.

“Damn it Zayn, get into bed right now.” Harry growled as soon as they stepped foot back into the house, yanking the body a bit too roughly by his wrist, the limp wrist that hurtled the body too fast until he was supporting most of his weight.

“It’s been nearly two weeks since you’ve slept so you’re getting into that fucking bed and I’m going to tuck you in and you’re going to sleep, long and hard. And if you get up before tomorrow morning I swear to god I will tie you down and ply you with sleeping pills.” tugging off the jeans that covered legs that could barely support him, followed by a sweater he thinks that was once his, before dragging the covers up and tucking them around the slender trembling body so tight that he may have been embalming a corpse. But seeing Zayn today, gripping his can of redbull, his third in four hours and seeing him sway so dangerously before pitching forward nearly stopped his heart and sent him running, Liam beating him as he caught him so neatly it was like it was planned, but he knew it wasn’t by the panicked frenzied look in Liam’s face as he petted his baby, their baby who was curled up so tight, a ball of nerves that was wound so tight that he shook and pleaded, calling out for Harry and pleading, please please please a constant stream as his eyes watered.

“Harry, what’re you doing to him?” Niall asked under his breath, tugging Harry to the other side of the room as Liam and Louis coaxed Zayn into one of the sweaters lying around, wiping away the watering mess that threatened to fall as he was sat in Louis’ lap.

“Nothing Niall. He stays up because he doesn’t want me to leave, no matter how many times I try to get him to sleep or atleast nap!” he threw his hands up, trying not to let his anxiety be apparent. But it was. He knew the fatigue that plagued zayn because it had settled into a bone deep ache that constantly followed him through all hours of the day, always in the back of his mind but that’s what alcohol could help him forget, even though it was only a temporary amnesia that silenced the voices that echoed in his mind and scratched at his insides.

“Maybe you should be doing something. Like indulging him. Christ, or atleast talk to Louis and Liam. Mostly Liam though.” he mumbled, scratching at the hairs that fell over his forehead.

“Liam and Louis? What does Zayn refusing to sleep have to do with them?” although he already had a clue, because no one could resist Zayn’s natural charm or deny him anything, especially when he was sleep weary and close to a meltdown.

“Well, they’ve kinda sorta made it their thing that as soon as it gets close to the time you leave the bed they’ll set a silent alarm and then wake up Zayn, so that you would possibly give in and stay for the night. But-” Niall’s arm reached out, clasping onto Harry’s forearm as he saw more than red, he saw fifty shades of fucking livid. How dare they? How dare they deprive their precious boy of the sleep he desperately craved and put him in the same position that Harry has had to deal with unbearably? He would kill them. He would definitely go to jail as long as they were dead.

“Jesus bring it in for a fucking second hulk. They only did that because you were being a stubborn prick and running yourself to the damn floor. They only wanted to stop you from going out but Zayn took it a step further and refused to go back to sleep. And now they can’t get him to go down. Now it’s on you. Stop being a little fucking pisspot and talk to him. You know how much anxiety he gets when one of us pulls away.” Niall huffed, punching Harry really good in the chest.

He knew, they all knew their baby. He was tough and ready to fight the world and thousands of strangers for their honor and to keep them safe, but as soon as he feels like one of them is drifting he falls apart, because he takes it upon himself to push and pull and try to mend them that he destroys himself in the process. His mind is despondent and he’s a mess that they have to protect and coddle and heal and protect because he’s more fragile than the most delicate of blown glass.

“Okay, okay. He’s coming with me. We’ll meet you guys at the house later.” thumping Niall on the back as he pulled back his shoulders and strode over to Liam and Louis and Zayn who was shuffled back and forth between the both of them, on the verge of unconsciousness.

“I’ll talk to you numbnuts as soon as I’m done dealing with him.” with a sigh as he grasped onto Zayn’s hand, gentle as his rough voice died down once he got his first clear look at his boy for the first time in weeks. And he felt like the biggest arse because he seemed two steps away from shutting down, but maybe that the way he looked to him as well. He felt like he was staring at his own fatigue in the copper hued irises.

He came back to himself as he felt fingers wrap around his wrist and tearful eyes pleading with him, gently tugging him closer in the hopes of getting him in the bed. Harry sighed, feeling as tired as Zayn looked before toeing off his boots and shrugging out of his jacket to slide under the covers, sheets and comforters soothing his frayed nerves as he lay there, staring at Zayn who was doing the same thing.

“That was really stupid pumpkin. No matter how chivalrous you think you were being. You can’t go without sleep. Not that long. You could’ve done some serious damage to yourself.” he mumbled, finally caving into those eyes, those fucking eyes that were too wide in a thin gaunt face that screamed to be kissed all over.

“Then why weren’t you afraid for yourself?” Zayn’s question was one of innocence, murmured in a state of unawareness as he fought the last tendrils of consciousness that were slipping away from him.

“I just couldn’t sleep pumpkin. You know that happens sometimes.” he reassured, reaching over to run his hands through the mussed locks, fingers grazing along the sheared edges delicately, because the moment just seemed too precious to shatter.

“No. No your lying.” Zayn pouted, forcing away Harry’s hand as he struggled to break free from the restraints of comforters. Harry sighed, bringing his arm around Zayn and dragging the blanket to be tuucked tighter around the side not pressed to Harry's chest.

"Lay your ass down and we're going to take a nap."

"Wait, together?" 

"Yes pumpkin. Together. We're going to stay in this bed, you don't get out until I wake up and I wont move until you're awake. And then we're going to eat and we'll work out a little bit and that's that." Harry compromised, thumbing over the protruding him as his lips brushed against Zayn's gently pressing kisses after each word.

"And we're going to do this for just tonight?" Zayn asked, reaching to caress the curls that fell into Harry's exhausted face.

"No, we're gonna take naps like this together for a while. I need to make sure my pumpkin is okay." following the sentence with one more kiss.

"And I need to make sure you sleep. But why Harry? What was wrong?" 

"Nothing Zayn. Just...I just needed some time alone baby. Well, not alone. But I couldn't stop thinking so I went out drinking until I passed out and didn't have to think. And yes, I know it wasn't smart but I needed it. Like those days when you just want to lock yourself in your own room. I wasn't in any danger pumpkin. But I don't appreciate you letting Liam and Louis convince you to wake up every night that I was leaving and when we wake up I'm going to murder them. But for now-" Harry cut himself off seeing that those eyelashes had fluttered closed and breathing evening out.

"You menace." affectionately pecking him on his petite nose before bringing the covers over to plunge them into darkness and sleep that he had been evading for weeks.

**____________________**

Some days, some days were hard, to put it simply, the very motions of opening his eyes brought an ache to his insides that no amount of interaction of hustle seemed to soothe. No amount of hours spent whispering over the phone to people miles away in a home he used to know or even glances at the faces that occupied the few feet he lived within. Dragging his feet he traipsed up the steps taking him closer to the library, hoping to hide among the shelves of books that came with the property and not have to see faces that always looked at him for a smile cause he couldn’t give that to them. Heart filling with stones with each footsteps he could barely get his fingers to wrap around the doorknob to the library, head pressed against the door because he just couldn’t, it was one of those days where everything was too much, each touch, every second that he had to keep his eyes open and aware and he wished that he could leave his head, his body, this life, if only for a few minutes. Turning his head to the left his glimpsed the empty master bedroom and the bathroom that he could barely get a glimpse of, suddenly yearning nothing more than a bath, steaming hot water and to scrub at his skin till he couldn’t feel anything but the red bleeding into his nerves and numbing the ache.

He doesn’t remember stumbling toward the bathroom, or take in the fact that he was making small panicked grunting noises as he practically slammed the door open, nearly tearing off his skin in haste to shed his clothes, the only thing that registered was the water flooding the tub, bubbles helping conceal his vision as they traveled higher and higher. He slumped backwards back pressed against the smooth curve of the extravagantly big claw footed tub that only made him feel that much smaller as he let himself be immersed in white fluff that permeated the smell of white tea and freesias, something that reminded him of broad tan shoulders and big hands that curled around the back of his neck in comfort and suddenly that was all he craved but everything seemed too far and out of reach, anxiety pressing him down till happiness seemed too far to grasp. He didn’t know how to react, which instinct to follow, to shy away and hide from every touch and voice or to let someone take care of him and be enraptured by them entirely.

That was how the rest of his lovers found him, Harry crouched over his head, hovering but careful not to touch as Zayn lay back among the bubbles that threatened to take him under, arm over his eyes but heaving sobs tearing painfully from clenched lips in a way that hurt their own hearts.

“Angel, why is our baby crying?” Liam crooned softly, attempting to get closer but it only prompted Zayn to start hyperventilating, heaving for breath, the water sloshing as he attempted to bring his feet closer to his chest.

“Okay, okay. We’re going to stay right here. We won't get any closer if you don’t want us to. But we’re not leaving buttercup, alright?” Niall proclaimed in a tone that was as delicate as paper, not wanting to shatter Zayn’s vulnerable psyche. And that’s what they did, taking a seat right on the bathroom floor, Harry the only one staying as close as he had, perched on the toilet seat and watching carefully as Zayn’s chest stopped heaving at a frantic pace and he emerged from under his arm, eyes red rimmed and sniffling as he turned so he would have to meet any of their gazes, concentrating too far on the window beyond Harry’s head.

“Please.” was the first word he was able to choke out in a croaking voice, refusing to meet any of their eyes.

“Please what baby?” Louis spoke in a hushed tone, daring to get up on his knees to see Zayn’s reaction better.

“Help.” sounding so close to sobbing that they had to move, to get into action, to do something beside watching as he fell apart and endured a type of mental emotional barb wired fence that they could never comprehend. He was more than scowls and good hair and a beautiful face that everyone else saw, and he was more than cute sleepy smiles and a good way to control each other and they could see how they had neglected their baby and how they weren’t any better than people who used him or judged him into one little box, constraining him to their cute ideals.

“Alright, we’re going to take care of you Zayn but we need you to let us. Alright, we only want to help you.” Liam reassured, slipping onto the floor by the brunette set of hair, cupping the side of his face as he shuddered, the bubbles long since dissipated, leaving him in lukewarm water that sent him into shivers. Niall moved to turn on the tap, flooding it with water nearing on uncomfortable hot, and pulled the drain so as the old water disappeared it was replaced with fresh one, Louis dropping in more bubbles and setting something on the rack that could be placed over the edges of the tub, serving as a makeshift table, Harry shifting Zayn to sit up more and rubbing warmed hands over his shoulders before going back and starting a more slow and punctuated method, kneading away the small pouches of stress that built and lingered in the shoulders that seemed to carry so much, no matter how much they tried to shield him they couldn’t keep anything from him, but he could keep everything from them, he was a master of deception, and his greatest deception was pretending that he was okay, when he really wasn’t. He didn't open his eyes as they all surrounded him, or when Louis dumped a bomb of lavender scented oils into the tub, or as one set of hands was all he felt on his body, massaging with a two big palm over smaller feet, knewading the tension as he worked his way up to shoulders, skin pruned and soaked deep into his bones but Zayn couldn't stop crying, throat dry and hearing every beat thundering in his chest as it threatened to collapse on his lungs.

"Here angel, raise your head for me. That's a good boy. Take a sip. Slow." a hand cupped the back of his head, easing it up from the submersion of the tub and he found a straw slotted through the clench of his lips and forcing himself to stop hyperventilating long enough to pull, swallowing the ice water little by little.

"There we go, now let's get you up to bed. We're so sorry buttercup. We didn't even notice we weren't taking proper care of our baby." he knows their voices, but the nicknames brought a warmth to his chest as he let himself be gently manhandled with the delicacy of fresh blown glass, the fear of distortion and breakage wavering heavy on their minds but he already felt shattered, like dust on a busy New York street being crushed by heavy shoes and stilettos. He simply let himself lay limp, mind shutting down and senses taking over as each brush of hands seemed to lull him further and further away from a dangerous precipice.

He felt himself being layed on cold sheets, shivering until a thick blanket was draped over him, heavy in comforting weight he sighed, curling in a ball as the shades were drawn and the bed dipped as the others surrounded him.

"Just relax lamb. Don't think. We're going to be right here in the room when you come back. Just take deep breaths and count to six, making sure you move my hand by the time you say three. Keep doing that for me darling." Louis's voice was a smooth cadence, lilting in echoes in his head as he obeyed, feeling the palm on his belly, thumbs massaging reassuringly as he did as ordered. The others could only watch from where they stood or sat, itching to reach out and touch but they couldn't. Not when he got like this, in these manic episodes all they could do cover him in the weighted blanket after a massage from Liam and wait, wait for the panic to subside and for their baby to come back to him, all smiles and wiggling eyebrows, running around in crop tops or their clothes, sweatpants legs dragging under his feet as he pouted and tugged at their hands and hearts. They didn't like when he was like this. But they knew when they were needed and they would be there, just like he had been there. He helped bring them closer everyday because he was their little secret weapon against each other, but a bigger deadlier weapon to himself and they refused to let him self destruct. He was Louis' lamb, Liam's angel, Niall's buttercup and Harry's pumpkin. Their wide eyed tongue in teeth smiling baby boyfriend. They watched his breathing slow down, reaching for each other as he slipped into an exhausted nap, keeping their distance, not too close, but never too far. 

They would always be there. To keep him safe even though he was their kryptonite that they couldn't help but wilting under.


End file.
